orientation to spcl areas in couns. unit- 2- 2.1

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Orientation to special areas in counseling unit 2, 2.1 sexual abuse and violence
Siddhi Deshpande
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Frage Antworten
Explain the statistics of overall violence and abuse. A report by the UK Department of Health in 2000, based on Home Office crime surveys and circulated to a wide range of professionals such as doctors, social workers and teachers, indicated that domestic violence occurs in all ethnic groups and all income groups, ranging from psychological abuse such as threats, control of movement, denial of privacy and destruction of property, to varying degrees of physical abuse including murder and manslaughter The report gave 771,000 as the total number of people attacked in domestic violence incidents that year, with women making up 74% of victims and men, 26%.These figures almost certainly under-represented the actual incidence, since domestic violence and abuse are under-reported, especially attacks on young men in domestic settings. Also, on average, a woman is assaulted 35 times by a partner or ex-partner before reporting this to the police.
When violence is suspected or revealed in a joint session? It is very difficult to distinguish between the minimizing or concealment of extreme violence and situations where violence has indeed been minimal as yet. Once alerted to the possibility, the counselor, even if she believes the violence is minimal, should not pursue the matter in the session but, possibly to the temporary disappointment of the victim and relief of the perpetrator, take the stated degree of the violence at face value, say this is a subject to return to, and focus on other aspects of the relationship. At the end of the session, the counsellor should remind the couple that both joint and individual sessions are usually held, and an early appointment should then be made for the person the counsellor thinks may be experiencing violence. In order to protect a woman victim as far as possible, the counsellor might quite casually say ‘Ladies first, perhaps? ’and make the appointment. The supervisor should be consulted immediately and any further sessions closely supervised and monitored, with safety the priority.
When severe and/or repeated violence is revealed at first contact? It is highly unlikely that a couple where one partner uses extreme and/or repeated violence will agree between themselves to seek counseling. If this unlikely scenario does occur, the counselor should make it clear that this particular problem is beyond her competence and direct the couple to where they can receive appropriate help. The counsellor’s supervisor should be consulted about such local resources if they are not known, and the couple referred on.
When violence is revealed in an individual session? When the partner who might be at risk comes to her individual session,assurances that what she says will not be revealed to her partner are particularly important,and although confidentiality will already have been stressed at the previous session,this assurance should be repeated firmly and unequivocally at the beginning of the individual session.The issue of violence should then be brought into the open and the woman asked to comment and elaborate on the clues picked up by the counsellor in the joint session.These apparent clues may have been mistaken, but if violence is indeed an issue,the woman should be encouraged to expand her story by means of tactfully phrased questions in response.
What are Received truths? Examples of socially constructed ‘received truths’ excusing or minimizing violence, some of which may be believed by men as well as women, include: • It’s a woman’s role to please her man. • It’s a woman’s duty to forgive. • Femininity is bound up with being tolerant. • Women with a history of violent relationships invite/send signals to violent men. • People who stay with a violent partner are weak and feeble. • He can’t help it, because his father was violent to his mother. • He said he was sorry so he will change from now on. • Love is all that matters and I know he loves me despite the violence. • He’s insecure. • He’s highly sensitive. • It’s my fault because I wind him up/fail him/had an affair. • The real problem is his stress at work/drinking/drug-taking.
Explain the victims view of the perpetrator’s aptitude. The victim should be asked how the perpetrator views his acts of violence. The following points are crucially important, and can help to determine whether or not further joint sessions will be held: - 1 Has the perpetrator already committed to ceasing violence? 2 If so, was this commitment made a significant length of time ago, and has he kept to the promise since? 3 If ‘yes’ to both the above, do you feel totally and unreservedly safe about future joint sessions where no details of the violence will be held back? the counsellor’s aim must change from couple work to assisting the victim on an individual basis, preferably by referral to a colleague experienced in counselling for violence. It may then be best for the counsellor to withdraw ,after holding the arranged individual session with the perpetrator. The victim can be protected by the counsellor’s explaining regretfully at the end of that session that the problems are beyond her experience and competence and that because of this she will no longer be able to counsel the couple.
Explain the victim’s promotion of her safety. The victim should be consulted on whether she would like referral to another counselor, whom she could see without her partner’s knowledge, preferably a colleague trained and experienced in working with victims of violence. She should be advised to tell her doctor of her situation. At the end of the session, assurances should again be given that the partner will not be told what the victim has said. Another individual appointment should be made for her. It is also essential to hold the individual appointment already made for her partner, since not doing so might arouse suspicion that the victim has disclosed the violence, with consequent heightened risk to her.
Explain the individual session with perpetrator. The counselor should discuss with her supervisor how to manage the individual session with the perpetrator – it is likely to be difficult. My own practice is to run this session very much as a ‘listening and checking-out’ occasion, giving the man an opportunity to describe his view of the relationship and its history, and counsellor do not mention violence if he does not raise it himself. If he does, Counsellor do not challenge his account of its extent and nature, although as counsellor describe below, counsellor do invite him to say more about what he has disclosed. The man may ask what his partner has said about what goes on in the relationship. If so, Counsellor remind him that individual sessions in couple counselling is confidential (counsellor have already said this in the joint session) then ask for his own views on the relationship. Counsellor cannot, of course, prevent him from subsequently pressurizing his partner to reveal what she has said, possibly with threats if she refuses, but she will know that no information about her session has been revealed and will be able
Explain preparation and monitoring. Where violence has been brief, regretted and not repeated, the perpetrator’s further acknowledgement, apology and commitment to non-violence can be prepared for in his individual sessions, then be the subject of a joint session where he signs a document confirming his commitment never to repeat violence. Individual sessions with both partners should still be interspersed with joint sessions, since situations change and develop, and either partner may at some later point wish to raise issues they are not happy for the other to know about. The couple’s own monitoring of the cessation of violence may be assisted by the therapist in counseling sessions that are increasingly separated in time, until the victim feels that counseling is no longer needed.A clear option to return (at short notice if necessary) should be given.
What is the counselor role about violence with client. The counselor needs to take a firm position that abusive violence is in no way acceptable in loving relationships, although it may have become the norm, and he needs to bear in mind that ending violence is difficult and uncertain. Even-handed attitudes to couple conflict should also be put aside where violence and abuse occur. In many other situations, both partners will have contributed to the couple’s problems (although perhaps not always equally) and both will need to work towards reversing the situation, whereas ending violence is wholly the perpetrator’s responsibility, no matter what the ostensible provocation.
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