anti learnt helplessness/anti dependence upon one helpful person - what happens if you depend on one person - need to utilise your whole system to help you.
example the family that relied solely on helpful steven - their gerbils were gassed
the son who relied solely on helpful dad Steven - what would he do if he couldn't speak to dad
interactions in the family system can make you feel safe, protected and uplifted or isolated and desolate - it is important to check out assumptions about what people are thinking
things do not happen in isolation, everything is a chain reaction
what you do is always a communication based on continual feedback
example - chopping down tree, how the tree responds to the chop changes your next chop - response to feedback
what you see effects what you do - what if you had eyes on the side of your head like a lizard how would your perspective change