The Iliad: Book 23

The Achaean troops return to camp. Achilles organizes an elaborate funeral for Patroclus a big party to celebrate killing Hector a stealth attack on the Trojans a meeting of officers( an elaborate funeral for Patroclus, a big party to celebrate killing Hector, a stealth attack on the Trojans, a meeting of officers ).

Hector is left desecrated in the dust given a small funeral resurrected by the gods forgotten by all( left desecrated in the dust, given a small funeral, resurrected by the gods, forgotten by all ).

The men eat a funeral feast, but Achilles will not wash the blood off of his body eat anything green allow anyone to eat cook any of the food( wash the blood off of his body, eat anything green, allow anyone to eat, cook any of the food ) until Patroclus’ burial is finished.

Exhausted from combat and from grief eating too much planning the funeral being so awesome( combat and from grief, eating too much, planning the funeral, being so awesome ), Achilles falls asleep. In the night, the ghost of Patroclus appears before Achilles, asking him to complete the funeral get up and fight have something to eat join him in death( complete the funeral, get up and fight, have something to eat, join him in death ) so that Patroclus may pass into the world of the dead eat the leftovers come back to life bury Hector's body( pass into the world of the dead, eat the leftovers, come back to life, bury Hector's body ).

Patroclus asks for his bones to be buried together with to kill to take over the body of to come back to life( for his bones to be buried together with, to kill, to take over the body of, to come back to life ) Achilles’, so that they may never be separated.

The men prepare for the funeral, putting on their arms and building Patroclus’ pyre. A massive sacrifice is made to the gods, including the twelve Trojans food horses six birds( twelve Trojans, food, horses, six birds ) that Achilles took captive the previous day Achilles would not eat Achilles caught in a trap Achilles stole from the Trojans( Achilles took captive the previous day, Achilles would not eat, Achilles caught in a trap, Achilles stole from the Trojans ).

At first Patroclus’ pyre does not burn, but Achilles prays to the gods adds more wood threatens the pyre with his sword doesn't care( prays to the gods, adds more wood, threatens the pyre with his sword, doesn't care ).

Achilles oversees a series of funeral games public executions musical performances epic plays( funeral games, public executions, musical performances, epic plays ) to celebrate the memory of Patroclus.

The first event is the chariot race hurdle sprint bean bag toss test of strength( chariot race, hurdle sprint, bean bag toss, test of strength ), and Achilles lays out rich prizes for the victors.

Apollo, still angry with Diomedes, knocks his whip out of his hand him in the head his chariot over on its side on the door( his whip out of his hand, him in the head, his chariot over on its side, on the door ), but Athena gives it back to him punches Apollo kills all the other horses answers it( gives it back to him, punches Apollo, kills all the other horses, answers it ).

The next event is the boxing match bowling match pig wrangling match yodeling contest( boxing match, bowling match, pig wrangling match, yodeling contest ). Achilles lays out more prizes for the winners.

The next event is wrestling bird calling professional soccer tapdancing( wrestling, bird calling, professional soccer, tapdancing ), where Great Ajax’ strength is pitted against Odysseus knowledge of holds.

Neither Great Ajax nor Odysseus is able to gain an advantage, so Achilles tells them to share the prizes keep fighting give up and go home fight better( share the prizes, keep fighting, give up and go home, fight better ).

The next event is the footrace coin toss cliff dive swimming match( footrace, coin toss, cliff dive, swimming match ), where Odysseus, Little Ajax, and Antilochus are the participants. Ajax is winning, but Athena helps Odysseus by causing Ajax to slip and fall to turn into a frog to let him win to lose both legs( to slip and fall, to turn into a frog, to let him win, to lose both legs ).

In the next event, the men duel in full armor try to tame monkeys have an eating contest set themselves on fire( duel in full armor, try to tame monkeys, have an eating contest, set themselves on fire ). Great Ajax and Diomedes are the two chosen champions. They fight, but are separated before one man can injure the other the monkeys kill them it starts to rain the song is finished( one man can injure the other, the monkeys kill them, it starts to rain, the song is finished ). Achilles declares Diomedes the winner.

Next, the men compete to throw a lump of iron throw a live chicken throw a spear throw one another( throw a lump of iron, throw a live chicken, throw a spear, throw one another ). The captain Polypoetes wins the competition.

Next, the men compete in archery, attempting to shoot at a dove tied to a cord at an apple on Achilles head at a running Trojan at a coin on a post( at a dove tied to a cord, at an apple on Achilles head, at a running Trojan, at a coin on a post ). Meriones wins the competition, and Teucer comes in second because he did not pray to Apollo.

Last, the men begin the spear throwing beer drinking hoof trimming sword bending( spear throwing, beer drinking, hoof trimming, sword bending ) competition. Achilles intercedes, telling Agamemnon that he is the greatest spearmen by far man on earth moron he knows sword bender( spearmen by far, man on earth, moron he knows, sword bender ). Agamemnon is automatically awarded first prize.