Old Testament

Creation 1.
1. Metaphor for the creation of the world
2. Adam and Eve mother and father of hummanity
3. God created the world in 7 metaphorical days
4. Follows the lineage of evoloution
5. Created 7 day week rested on the 7th day
6. Started with Sea and Sky
  1. Ended with Rest
The Flood 3.
1. God was mad at man kind because everyone was sinning and such
2. In all the chaos their was one (sorta) nice guy
  1. God choose Noah and his family to be saved from the flood
    1. This guy builds a big ole' boat while people are all like "noah why you makin dis boat?" and Noahs all like "THE POWER OF GOD HAS TOLD ME TO MAKE A BOAT HOP OFF"
3. Gods all like "I wanna have this dope world after Im done with this tantrum" He instructs Noah to take 2 of every animal
4. The flood lasts 40 days and nights
  1. More than half of Kim K's marriage.
The Fall 2.
1. Adam and eve eat from tree of knowledge of good and evil
2. Disobey AND lie to God
3. Learn that being naked is bad
4. Hide from God when he comes into garden
5. Started mankind's sinful nature
6. Were cast out from garden of eden
  1. mankind continued to go away from God
Blessings Of Abraham 4.
1. "I will make you a great nation"
  1. Gods like "Abe I'm gonna make you a nation, hang in their fam"
  2. "You will have many nations"
    1. My brother Abe is a little old for kids to say so he's like; "lol okay god"
      1. Gods like; "sike abe you're gonna have kids"
      2. His wife Sarah was like ;" lol sure God"
        after their son is born God goes; HA NAME HIM LAUGHTER (Issac)
Jacob and His Sons 5.
1. After a little fixing and working things in his favor Jacob ends up on top.
  1. Jacob and his wives (Billah Rachel leah and Ziplah) get to work and have 12 kids
    1. These children become the 12 TRIBES OF ISREAL
      1. Gods over here like; "CALLED IT"
      2. After a scuffle with The Big Man Jacobs like; "I'm done with this Jacob name, I'm calling my self Isreal.
        Shocker Isreal means WRESTLE WITH GOD
        God is basically like; "I know these morons are gonna cause some trouble but It'll work itself it out"
Exodous
1. Exodous 6.
  1. My bud Moses is a weird guy who can't really talk without stuttering
    1. Gods like; You're rescuing these people ya whimp
    2. Since Moses keeps whining Gods like; FINE TAKE ARRON YA WHIMP
    3. Moses shows how God uses the meek and unsuspecting for his hardest jobs
  2. MY MAN RESCUES THE JEWISH PEOPLE AND ESTABLISHES THE LAW OF ALL GOD FEARING PEOPLE

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Old Testament

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	Created by jw_reading over 9 years ago