WEEK 6: ROMANCE, EMPATHY & LIFE SATISFACTION

WEEK 6: Romance, Empathy & Life Satisfaction Empathy Understanding Happines How to Buy Happiness Romantic Attraction & Close Relationships

1. Empathy- many social problems arise due to a lack of empathy- Affective Empathy - emotional matching - feeling what someone else is feeling - usually felt for all groups- Cognitive Empathy - imagining how someone else feels or how you would feel in their position - influenced by your group identity- when people lack empathy, prejudice, aggression, abuse etc results- empathy scores predict child abuse better than life stress scores and result in happier relationships when high- empathy can be trained and taught- Roman Krznaric - Outrospection - 20th Century characterized by Introspection (self-help etc), next Century must be outrospection - awareness of that outside ourselves such as new cultures, lifestyles etc- empathy is the ultimate art form - how can we expand our empathic potential - communicate, immersive ourslves in the world of someone else, have empathic mueseums etc- empathy is about radical social change in human relationships

3. How to Buy Happiness- happiness is about having...enough! - John Bogle book on Enough!- Eric Weiner - the Geography of Bliss - interdependence is the mother of affection- our social bonds are the key to happiness - Michael Norton book Happy Money- TedTalk - How to Buy Happiness - money can't buy happiness - wrong!- people who win the lottery ruins their life- key is to spend money on someone else - experiment in giving students money

2. Assigned Video - Understanding Happiness- how we feel now greatly influences how we think we will feel in the future- hedonic adaptation - we are good at getting used to / adapting to positive changes in their lives- adaptation affects our experience of both good and bad things- if we have no choice, we simply adapt to our decision/circumstance.- positive psychology - includes meditation - doesn't relax the brain, actually focuses the mind- social relationships matter the most

4. Romance & Close Relationships- why did you choose your partner.friends - e.g. fun to be with, looks etc- none of those count, what does is "proximity" - social closeness - opportunities to interact- 1950 Festinger study - The Power of Proximity - friendship formation is a new housing project- 2 major factors - direction a house faced and distance between houses- people living in houses that were turned to the street and not inward toward the neighbors made far less friends- people also attracted to people that are similar to them - age, education, ethnicity etc - opposites attract little empirical support- physical attractiveness matter quite a bit for males and females- do woman fall in love first or quicker - no!- predictors of long term marriage success - parents and dorm mates!- very hard to make general predictions/statements - division of chores is a very big predictor- conflict/number of fights doesn't matter, however ratio of positive vs negative interactions is very NB, 5 to 1 positive to negative is a minimum ratio to aim for

MAJOR COURSE THEMES1. Psychological construction of reality2. Speed that social impressions are formed3. Complex link between attitudes and behaviors4. The power of the situation5. The value of empathy

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