Obtain the name of the person with who you are
speaking: People respond favorably
to their own name. It also makes the conversation more personal. Ask for the person’s
name and ensure you are pronouncing it correctly early in the encounter and use
it throughout conversation."Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." Dale Carnegie
· Clarifying,
paraphrasing and open-ended questions all help to ensure that the person is
aware you have understood their frustrations completely. This helps to lower
frustration levels as they feel they have “got it off their chest”. On a
subconscious level, repeating a person’s own words back to them clearly shows
your comprehension of their points on the most basic of levels.
·
Undivided Attention: When people are paid attention to they feel
validated; they feel important. The converse is also true: people feel less
important and sometimes feel they need to up the ante if they feel like they
need attention. Paying attention doesn't just mean saying, "I'm
listening." It means looking at the person, making eye contact if it's
culturally appropriate, and virtually listening with the entire body. By really
listening, and conveying that through body language as well as words, you can
help take away the person's reason for escalating the situation.
Caption: : "We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know." Carl Rogers
Slide 3
Empathy
needs to be shown during conflict situations. Even if you do not agree with the
person’s position, expressing an understanding why that person feels a
particular way will help resolve the conflict. Once again, ensure you are giving
the situation your full attention. Show respect for the other person’s opinions
and feelings. So, besides paying attention to what is said, ensure that body
language and tone are nonjudgmental as well. This will go a lot further in
calming the individual. Show respect for the other person’s opinions and
feelings.
·
It is very hard
for someone to stay angry towards you if they are agreeing with you. This may
sound ridiculous….How do we achieve this? Using clarifying questions and
providing summaries during the conversation all help to confirm you have
understood their point. When you clarify using a statement such as, “So you are
feeling frustrated because of XYZ, is that right?”, you are creating a situation
where the other person must respond with a “Yes”, and the more often we can get
the other person to say yes, the quicker the situation will deescalate. This is
an extremely successful and useful technique.
The old saying, “Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything” is
particularly true of conflict resolution. As healthcare professionals, patient
advocates, care coordinators, etc. we need to show compassion and empathy and
give the escalated party our full attention. Don’t make rash judgments and work
through the process.
·
The person/patient you
are dealing with at 10:00 am deserves the same level of respect, courtesy and
patience as the person you are dealing with at 10 pm. They don’t know this is
your third escalated patient today or that they are the 19th person
to be frustrated about a technology issue that is out of your control. They
deserve the same high level of service and professionalism as the first person
you spoke to. Remember that your actions can have a lasting impression on a
patient and/or their family and as such, we need to maintain that position of
positive ambassador and consummate professional.