Romantic Relationships

Definitions
1. Liking
  1. Affection: a sense of warmth & fondness
  2. Respect:admiration for another person
2. Loving
  1. Intimacy: a feeling of closeness and "union"
  2. Caring: the concern you have for your partner's welfare
  3. Attachment: a longing to be in your partner's presence
3. Romantic relationship: chosen interpersonal involvement forged through romantic communication
  1. Perception: both partners perceive relationship as "romantic"
  2. Diversity: romantic relationships are possible within many cultures
  3. Choice: we choose partners as well as whether and how to maintain bond
  4. Commitment: a strong psychological attachment to a partner and an intention to continue the relationship
  5. Tensions: competing impulses between self and feelings towards others
    1. Relational dialectics
      1. Openness vs. Protection
      2. Autonomy vs. Connection
      3. Novelty vs. Predictibility
  6. Communication: relationships are forged through IPC
Types of romantic love
1. Passionate love: intense emotional & physical longing for union with another
2. Companionate love: an intense form of liking defined by emotional investment and deeply intertwined lives
3. Storge: stable, predictable, rooted in friendship
4. Agape: patient, selfless, giving, and unconditional
5. Mania: intense, tumultuous, extreme, all-consuming
6. Pragma: logical, rational, founded in common sense
7. Ludus: uncommitted, fun, played like a game
8. Eros: sentimental, romantic, idealistic, committed
Sources of romantic attraction
1. Proximity: people feel more attracted to those with whom they have frequent contact
  1. Mere exposure effect
2. Physical attractiveness: people feel drawn to those they perceive as beautiful
  1. Beautiful-is-good effect
  2. Matching
3. Similarity: we are attracted to those we view as similar to ourselves
  1. Birds-of-a-feather effect
4. Reciprocal liking: knowing that the attraction is mutual
5. Resources: qualities in a partner
  1. Social exchange theory
  2. Equity
Relationship development & deterioration
1. Coming Together (IEIIB)
  1. 1) Initiating
  2. 2) Experimenting
  3. 3) Intensifying
  4. 4) Integrating
  5. 5) Bonding
2. Coming Apart (DCSAT)
  1. 1) Differentiating
  2. 2) Circumscribing
  3. 3) Stagnating
  4. 4) Avoiding
  5. 5) Terminating
Maintaining Romantic Relationships
1. Positivity: communicating in a cheerful and optimistic fashion
2. Assurances: messages that emphasize how much a partner means to you
3. Sharing tasks: taking mutual responsibility for chores
4. Acceptance: the feeling that lovers accept us for who we are
5. Self-disclosure: both partners feel that they can disclose information
6. Relationship talks: discussing the status of your relationship
7. Social networks: important members of the partners' social networks approve of the relationship
Issues related to romantic relationships
1. Betrayal
  1. Sexual infidelity
  2. Deception
2. Jealousy
  1. Wedging
3. Relational intrusion
  1. Monitoring & controlling
  2. Invasion of privacy
4. Dating violence
  1. Isolation from others
  2. Use power to control you
  3. Various threats
  4. Emotionally abusive language
  5. Shift blame to you

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Romantic Relationships

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