The other side of the same coin that has reflecting on it
to confirm we heard correctly and that we understood. it creates rapport with
people shows that we r making ever effort to listen, understand and speak
thoughts aloud, politely moving people along if saying too much details or got
stuck. to stop making excuses, to stop rambling and go on/move fwd..
Repeating peoples
words back to them
in a different form
Reflecting
Anotações:
but be cautious it cant appear to b mechanical don’t parrot it back it will be
so irritating so be cautious.
-it validates and reassures that listener is interested
-useful to move foreword
-when in doubt what q to ask, reflect back the words.
-the client knows that they have been heard so dont need to give more
details
-it’s a great rapport builder.
Repeating
somebody’s words
back to them
exactly the way they
were spoken, same
tone and same
body language
Intuition
Anotações:
however we have to turn to the maxim of committing to the clients agenda and not
to be judgmental. make sure that it doesn't turn to unwelcome advice
always act carefully on ur intuition. if client doesnt seen to relate to
your hunch, its ok, let it go, move fwd, stay in the moment, don't be afraid to
challenge ur client in order to uncover new insights.
Sharpest tool if
we can develop it
Silence
Anotações:
not natural these days but incredibly useful tool
a- allows fr thinking time...client to answer in their own thoughts, any
interruption will be diverting
-don't feel the need to break your clients silence
leave 9 seconds after a q for them to consider their answer, silence is
intrinsic tool for coaching, don’t break silence by suggesting an answer or
asking a diff q before 9 secs
be patient
b-
allows for reflection
reflection: can bring out some emotional memories. allow silence
initially but if it increases, ask the client what’s the sticking point but
allow it initially.
Leave 9 seconds
after a q for them to
consider their answer
Gaining
permission
Anotações:
to say or to ask something can help build a rapport by demonstrating the imp of
your clients consent, helps them feel safe, in control, be prepared to proceed,
creates a powerful anchor for the client to stop and listen carefully
ex:
‘listen , can i challenge u on that statement?’
‘can i ask u to clarify what u mean by that'?’
would it be ok 4 me to give u some feedback on some points/
makes the client feel they have a choice/ the right to say no
Demonstrate the imp
of your client's consent
Feedback
Objective & clear info offered
2 your client 2 facilitate
thought, change or response
Anotações:
‘can i stop u for a min, when u talked about you boss there and a couple
of times previously, u shook ur head slightly, what do u think the meaning of
this?’
‘well, yeah i guess so and i didn't realize. maybe i find it pretty
frustrating and its getting to me.’
-
it brings the client to a reason.. raw material 2 help them move in to change
and bring in a positive response
-
poor feedback wont hurt but if its very frequent.. affects rapport and makes
client fed up
Observed
Attached to specific instance
Lead to a q that client has to answer
Framework
1- ask for permission
2- stick to the facts
Anotações:
not opinions only state what u see, observable facts
3- don't interpret these facts
Anotações:
most of ur interpretations at best not quiet right at worst completely wrong
4- describe impact of their behaviour on u
Anotações:
ur not giving anything as a definitive explanation
‘when u shook your head slightly i felt its kind of difficult for u’
this is diff from interpretation, ur not offering any judgment from your side
its only a feeling u had. don't say ‘ i felt u have problem with ur boss’ this
is interpretation.
5- link it to clients goals
Anotações:
to make feedback focused on goals to make client interested in listening to your
feedback
6- ask for their view point
Anotações:
very imp,, to make client respond to how ur observation to their coaching goal.
‘what r ur thoughts on that?’