Changing the way you learn

RESISTANCES

ANYTHING that gets in the way of the coaching relationship
Client can bring resistance with him/her
Client can have resistance activated during coaching
Resistance can be present at any stage of the relationship
Most clients are ambivalent when they first meet coach
1. Anxieties about changing
2. Anxieties about the coaching process
  1. e.g. talking openly about themselves
  2. personal pain
  3. be there reluctantly (sent by employer, etc.)
    1. resistance to work and commitment required for change
  4. embarrasment
CLIENT'S BELIEFS
1. 'shouldn't need help'
2. 'people should know themselves'
3. 'I'm sick or inadequate if I need coaching'
4. 'I'm a failure by being here'
POOR COACHING SKILLS
1. unrewarded listening
2. Coach's own resistances
  1. prejudices
  2. fatigue
  3. burnout
  4. stress
3. lack of empathy
SHOWN BY...
1. the way a client communicates
  1. SILENCE the most common
  2. continual laughing
  3. constant talking
  4. intellectualising / distancing
  5. emotional scenes
  6. denial
    1. "everything is wonderful"
    2. "I have everything under control"
  7. breaking / changing appointments
  8. behaving seductively
  9. angry outbursts
  10. cynicism
DEALING WITH ...
1. Use active listening skills
  1. builds trust & rapport
  2. core conditions
2. Join with clients
3. Give permission to discuss fears and reluctance
4. Initial invitation to co-operate
5. help clients see reasons for co-operation
6. offer rewards
  1. to silent clients for talking
7. AVOID LISTENING BLOCKS
  1. Directing / control
  2. judging
  3. preaching / patronising
  4. lebeling /diagnosing
  5. humoring
  6. not accepting client's feelings
  7. advising /teaching
  8. interrogating
  9. over-interpreting
  10. self-disclosing
  11. expert facade
  12. faking attention
  13. placing time pressures

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RESISTANCES

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	Created by wezzbox over 11 years ago